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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205475">Fear Simulation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iceshard1011/pseuds/Iceshard1011'>Iceshard1011</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mild Blood, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Nightmares, Remus being Remus, Swearing, but blink and you'll miss it, but not really, it's complicated - Freeform, it's literally what the title says, it's not as bad as it sounds, kind of dlampr relationship, so i promise it's not as bad as it sounds when i tag, unsympathetic everybody at some point, you can blame those warnings on him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:00:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205475</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iceshard1011/pseuds/Iceshard1011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan doesn't know what to do.</p><p>Patton is so alone.</p><p>Roman has never been so scared.</p><p>Virgil wants to die.</p><p>Thomas is supposed to be working; he has a story to write. Except, he's anxious. Really, really anxious. And thinking far too much for his own good. It's affecting him more than he knows. It's a wonder what creative merit and overthinking can do to the mind. And surprisingly, this has nothing to do with his Anxiety or Creativity. (No, really.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety &amp; Creativity &amp; Dark Creativity &amp; Deceit &amp; Logic &amp; Morality (Sanders Sides), Anxiety | Virgil &amp; Creativity | Roman &amp; Logic | Logan &amp; Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders &amp; Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders &amp; Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders &amp; Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Logic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Morality won't stop crying.</p><p>Fantasy hates him.</p><p>Anxiety can't calm down.</p><p>Logan doesn't know what to do.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It started with Logan rising up to the scene of a video.</p><p>Kind of.</p><p>The living room was absent of Thomas, which was the first major difference. It didn't help that the camera wasn't set up.</p><p>Also, Patton was crying.</p><p>Logan didn't remember the last time he'd seen Patton cry. He'd gotten very openly emotional, stuck in Virgil's room, and exposed to the anxiety that would've been eating away at his nerves. When the group had arrived at Patton's room, with tensions rising and arguments getting heated, the look in Patton's eyes had been incredibly — figuratively — broken, when he'd looked up and stared pleadingly across the room at Logan.</p><p>This was different and much, much worse.</p><p>Big, fat tears were rolling down Patton's cheeks, dripping off his chin. He was bent over slightly, holding his stomach like it hurt to breathe. His shoulders were shaking with every trembling breath that whooshed from his quivering lips.</p><p>Logan didn't feel things in a particularly strong sense. He didn't like feelings. He didn't like having them, but based on previous instances, it was grudgingly undeniable that he experienced emotions just like the others. He'd lost his temper on a few occasions and had to bite down on it even more.</p><p>Logan <em> did </em> have feelings, as much as he resented them. But he made sure that he had control over what he felt and what he didn't, and rarely did that control get away from him.</p><p>But Logan <em> hated </em> the look in Patton's eyes, now. It was desperate and pained and Logan couldn't stop the rolling, twisting anger that curled in his gut. Why was Patton crying? What had happened? Had someone said something to him?</p><p>"Patton," he started, awkwardly. "Is— everything okay?"</p><p>Patton was crying too hard to reply.</p><p>"Can I do anything?" Logan asked, and realised he was wringing his hands together. He didn't realise he fidgeted like that. Patton didn't answer. "If you can't tell me, I can't help," Logan tried but that was far too forceful. <em> Fix it, quick! </em> "If nothing has happened, there's no reason to cry." <em> THAT'S WORSE. </em> "Uh—"</p><p>"Wow, and <em> I'm </em> the insensitive one?"</p><p>Logan looked to the right, beside Patton. Roman was scowling at him, something off and odd and <em> wrong </em> in his disdainful expression.</p><p>Logan frowned at him.</p><p>"I am simply worried about—"</p><p>"Thomas' mental state, and your reputation, and how straight your glasses are on your stupid face," Roman interjected pointedly. Subconsciously, Logan raised a hand to the frames of his glasses. "Yeah, we're aware."</p><p>"No." Logan tried to keep his voice calm. "I am <em> concerned </em> about Patton's—"</p><p>"Appearance?" Roman interrupted again. "Pun-making problem?"</p><p>"No!" Logan snapped.</p><p>"Oh, what have I done now, Logan?" Roman asked, sounding exasperated. Logan clenched his fists. Why was Roman so argumentative today? He seemed to be happy enough yesterday. Roman was glaring at him and Thomas wasn't here, and Patton was <em> still crying—</em></p><p>A strangled gasp made Logan whirl around. Virgil was curled on the stairs, his wide eyes darting between the three of them.</p><p>"Virgil—" Logan started.</p><p>"Oh, shut it," Roman snapped. "Both of you. I'm sick of <em> listening </em> to you all the time!"</p><p>Logan gaped at him, his mind too shocked to analyse any of what he had just said. Virgil's breathing got worse.</p><p>What had <em> happened? </em> Logan doesn't rise up for what, a few minutes and they derail into <em> this? </em> What had set Roman off? What had set <em> Patton </em> off? Had Roman made Patton cry? He certainly didn't seem to care that he'd just sent Virgil spiralling into a panic attack. Why was he so angry— What had Logan done— What <em> could </em> Logan do—</p><p>"Not even going to try and help them?" Roman demanded, gesturing wildly to the other two. Logan wanted to scream. "Some friend you are."</p><p>Logan opened and closed his mouth uselessly, nothing coming up. He cleared his throat, but his voice was still hoarse as he spoke. "I'm just trying to—"</p><p>"Oh, that's right, you, you, you," Roman snapped. "It's all about <em> you </em>, isn't it? You're selfish and self-absorbed and you don't care about anyone but yourself. Is that right?"</p><p>Logan couldn't say anything to that. He couldn't even move.</p><p>He stood there for a long time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Normal was a relative term, particularly in a place like the subconscious parts of Thomas Sanders' mind.</p><p>So, while Janus was perched on the couch, mindlessly flicking through a book while Remus casually scuttled across the ceiling like some sort of demented bug, there was nothing out of the ordinary.</p><p>"Dear, would you mind avoiding tearing up the ceiling today?" Janus hummed without looking up from his book. A few loose plaster particles drifted down in front of him and the scrabbling sound that accompanied Remus' mindless adventure ceased.</p><p>For anyone else, the following several beats of silence would have been terrifying, especially if they had not been looking up to see what Remus' expression was doing.</p><p>Janus, however, had spent too many years with him to be scared.</p><p>
  <em> THUMP. </em>
</p><p>"Why not?" Remus whined, crossing his arms.</p><p>"I'm not in the mood to have the roof collapse inwards this morning," Janus said honestly. Remus grumbled under his breath, and life in the dark depths of the subconscious continued as normal.</p><p>Until the pair felt something. It was strange, and if they were to be asked to describe it, they would have had great difficulty. It was almost like a roiling in their gut, but it was also the mild beginnings of a headache, simultaneously all the while sounding distantly like a hive of bees slowly getting irritated.</p><p>Nevertheless, the pair both knew it meant a change in Thomas, and they immediately stopped what they were doing and glanced at each other. (Janus certainly <em> didn't </em> mutter darkly about the core four of Thomas' sides messing something up once again.)</p><p>But when they rose up into the mindscape and found dark pits of nothingness where the four light sides would usually be standing, the pair didn't really have the slightest clue about what to do.</p><p>Of course, there was always one way to find out.</p><p>Remus stuck his head into the dark black hole near the stairs.</p><p>Janus just barely bit back a yelp as he lunged for the dark creativity and yanked him back by his collar.</p><p>Remus blinked up at him. His hair was ruffled and stuck with globs of goo from the pit. "I heard Logan."</p><p>Janus frowned. "What?"</p><p>"Logan!" Remus repeated. "I heard him down there! He was talking! I didn't hear what he was saying, but maybe if I go down—"</p><p>"No," Janus interjected. Remus shot him a baffled look.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"No one is going down there," Janus said, leaving no room for argument.</p><p>"Why?" Remus demanded.</p><p>Janus' fingers curled around Remus' shoulders in a vice-like grip. "We don't know what's down there! There could be anything!"</p><p>"Including Logan!" Remus added. "And the others! And the reason why Thomas is feeling so weird! And maybe it's a really cool setting with, like, blood and some guts and—"</p><p>"No." Janus glared at him.</p><p>Remus stared fiercely back.</p><p>"Fine," Janus snapped. He pulls back and pokes a gloved finger against Remus' chest. "If you're down there any longer than <em> ten minutes </em> I'm coming in to get you."</p><p>"Ten?" Remus parroted incredulously. "Twenty!"</p><p>"Fifteen," Janus said.</p><p>"Deal," agreed Remus.</p><p>Without much more discussion, Remus dove headfirst into the pit, disappearing quickly into the darkness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Morality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Anxiety is leaving.</p><p>Logic is tired of him.</p><p>Fantasy won't look at him.</p><p>Patton is so alone.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus arrived in a particularly boring environment compared to what he had mentally promised himself. Sure, he didn't need the whole place to be drenched in blood and body parts, but the living room just as it was supposed to be? It was disappointing, to say the least.</p><p>And while there was no excitement, there was <em> certainly </em> some interesting drama happening between the four core sides in their respective spots.</p><p>Remus tilted his head at Morality sobbing against the window blinds. That was fun; he hadn't seen Patton cry before. He'd gotten close, a few times, to making the moral side have a breakdown with all his atrocities, but he'd always been stopped one way or another. Usually it was from Janus, who found him and dragged him away, but sometimes...</p><p>This Roman's glare was fiercer than it was whenever he directed it at Remus, which wasn't the interesting part of the situation, because right now he wasn't even looking at Remus. Remus wondered if the Creativity had even realised Remus was here; he was too busy glaring at the others. Now <em> that </em> was interesting. Remus knew the four morons argued often, but he'd never seen Roman use one of those glares on his friends. Remus grunted, faintly impressed.</p><p>Anxiety was curled on the steps, trembling like he was experiencing earth tremors. Remus couldn't see his face and he distantly wondered if he was crying. Virgil had never cried that much, but the few times he had Remus had felt strangely uncomfortable. He wasn't entertaining when he was having that kind of breakdown, like Remus could imagine Patton would be. He didn't sob and wail and gasp and struggle for breath. When Remus had seen him, he'd just... sat there silently with glinting tears smudging his eyeshadow. Remus had never liked it.</p><p>But that didn't matter right now.</p><p>Remus looked down at the wall supporting the staircase railing. He raised his eyebrows down at Logan, who was leaning against it, white as a sheet.</p><p>Remus huffed. With a flick of his wrist, he summoned his morning star. Knowing there was a gleeful shine in his eyes, he pulled back.</p><p>And <em> slammed </em> it into the television.</p><p>The glass screen shattered, sending glass flying. It crumpled, rocked, and crashed to the ground.</p><p>
  <em> Boring. </em>
</p><p>With a wrinkled nose, Remus, naturally, decided to obliterate the entire fabricated living room.</p><p>He could feel Logan's wide-eyed stare burning into him with glazed surprise as he smashed the bookshelf, sending the books flying to the ground, covers bent and papers torn. He stomped onto the coffee table, snapping it down the middle. With a deft swing of his morning star, the two broken pieces of wood then fractured again, sending splinters flying.</p><p>Remus steadily made his way through the room, breaking and destroying anything he spotted. The couch was ripped up. The painting shattered and then fell from its hook on the wall. The wall itself ended up having a few dents and holes inflicted on it.</p><p>By the time Remus was finished making the place at least <em> somewhat </em> exciting, he was panting both with the exclusion and thrill. It'd been a while since he last rampaged through some poor unassuming area.</p><p>Satisfyingly, too, the fake sides had already fled, wherever to. Probably oblivion if Remus' preferences had anything to do with it.</p><p>"Remus?"</p><p>He turned and smirked down at Logan, who was watching him with a comforting sense of awareness.</p><p>"Come to your senses, finally?" Remus asked with a grin.</p><p>"You arriving to destroy the living room isn't exactly on the list of my biggest fears," the logical side responded, a little hollowly.</p><p>"Is that what this is?" Remus asked, peering around the fake-and-now-destroyed living room. "Me and Janus found weird little pits in the mindscape. Figured it had something to do with you four."</p><p>"Pits?" Logan asked.</p><p>"Yeah! Like—" Remus was prepared to reply, but he was quickly interrupted.</p><p>"No, no." Logan sounded tired as he shook his head. "Thank you for telling me, but please do not continue any of that sentence. I'm… not in the optimal mindset to experience any of your rather vulgar explanations."</p><p>Remus shrugged happily. "Your loss."</p><p>Logan stood up on shaky legs. His eyes still looked partially unfocused. "I still don't understand how this all happened."</p><p>Remus didn't offer anything; he had no clue, either. Logan reached up to grip his collar and tugged on it. At first Remus thought he was readjusting his outfit like the pretentious nerd often did. When the logical side didn't stop, though, Remus realised it was something he had often seen Virgil — and sometimes Roman — do when feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Remus never understood that. He didn't know what those feelings felt like. From what he'd seen of them, though, they didn't seem too pleasant.</p><p>"I <em> have </em> to know," Logan was muttering. Remus wondered if he was getting a boner for knowledge, or something, until his hands started to shake, and he continued. "I can't <em> not </em> know. I <em> have </em> to <em> know, </em> if I don't <em> know </em> then what sort of side am I and Thomas may as well ignore Logic entirely because I can't work <em> anything </em> out and if I don't know then what's the <em> point—?" </em></p><p>"That's stupid."</p><p>Logan's stream of panicked speech quickly cut off. He looked up at Remus, looking shocked. Remus then remembered what Janus had said about being 'sensitive' when people were distressed and he quickly shut his mouth, pursing his lips.</p><p>"What?" Logan asked in a hoarse rasp. Well, now that he asked—</p><p>"You're everything that Thomas has ever learned," Remus said before he could stop himself. "You can't know the answers to the universe." He shrugged. "Or the mindscape complications, either."</p><p>Finally, Logan's eyes seemed to clear. (Remus hadn't known he'd feel relieved about that. Weird.) It made sense, in a way, though; Logan was all about words and lectures and facts. Maybe it was a kink of his, or something, but nevertheless, useless fluffy comforting words didn't seem to connect with the logical side. Which was handy, given Remus was shit at those, too.</p><p>"Doesn't really mean that Thomas doesn't rely on you if you don't know one little thing," Remus said with a careless shrug. "But you know if you work it out too, that's alright, I guess. You're needed, regardless."</p><p>Logan blinked, his eyes widening.</p><p>Behind him, a swirling pool of white curled open from the carpet. Remus peered at it, disappointed when it didn't smell.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Logan asked.</p><p>Remus glanced back at him. "Uh... hopping in the weird pool thing?"</p><p>"You can't know what's down there!" Logan protested.</p><p>Remus snorted. "I couldn't have known where the other put would have taken me when I jumped in to find you." Logan looked surprised. Remus' grin grew. "Can't argue with that logic, can you?" Without another word, he stepped back. He trusted Logan would (probably) follow him.</p><p> </p><p>Patton never liked days in the mindscape when things were tense. With such a small, shared area for the four of them, it was easy to tell when something would inevitably go wrong. Whether it was bad sleep, or the residue of a previous argument, or even just a simple bad day for someone, Patton could usually tell right away. Sometimes it was fixable; a cheery father figure bringing someone breakfast, or an offer to hang out — even an idea to work on for Thomas could distract from the stiff atmosphere and brighten everyone's spirits.</p><p>Unfortunately, Patton hadn't learnt how to tame Logan's mood swings — mostly because he never got them. Unless provoked (usually by Roman), the logical side was as professional and pleasant as ever to be around. Patton knew he liked to disregard his relationship with the others as custom protocol, but he always liked to think that Logan just had trouble admitting to the softer parts of his personality.</p><p>Which of course, was perfectly okay! Patton was more than happy to oblige by that and respect his boundaries.</p><p>So, he really had no idea why Logan would be so angry with him right now.</p><p>"Your function is pointless," Logan snapped. Patton really did try not to flinch like he'd been physically attacked, but he couldn't help it.</p><p>"Logan—" he started, desperate not to read between the lines and substitute that to <em> you are pointless. </em></p><p>"Thomas doesn't <em> need </em> morality to live an optimal, healthy life," Logan said, and Patton felt something inside him break.</p><p>"Come on, Logan," he said, trying with everything he was not to let his voice waver. "All of our functions are important to Thomas' life. I— I mean if they weren't, we wouldn't be here, right?"</p><p>He looked over to the stairs, and if he hadn't already known Virgil was there, he would have been startled to see the anxious side sitting on the steps. He'd been so painfully silent during the discussion between Patton and Logan. Patton knew he just didn't want to be dragged into the drama. He tried not to let it hurt too bad.</p><p>"L-like, we used to think that Virgil didn't matter, and then Thomas with <em> no </em> Anxiety was so much worse?"</p><p>"Don't use me as some <em> example," </em> Virgil snapped, and Patton tried not to wince. "I'm not a fucking charity case."</p><p>"No, no!" Patton cried. "That's not at all what I—"</p><p>"Whatever," Virgil grumbled. "I'm not in the mood for it."</p><p>"Kidd— Virgil—"</p><p>He sunk out before Patton could choke out anything else. Patton bit into his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. He would not lose control of his emotions. He couldn't afford to lose it right now. He had to look after the others. They were upset, and when they were upset it hurt Patton, so he had to fix it.</p><p>And he didn't <em> just </em> try to fix these instances because it always felt like his heart was being torn from his chest — he never wanted his kids to be hurting! That's why he always tried to help! (Right? God, he really <em> was </em> useless—)</p><p>In a last-ditch effort, Patton turned from the stairs to the television. The poor creative side had been almost as silent as Virgil.</p><p>"Roman," he said, reaching for him.</p><p>Roman didn't look at him. In fact, he <em> twisted, </em> turned so his shoulder was blocking Patton from getting to him. He muttered something about Patton going to cry to Deceit.</p><p>Patton had no idea why <em> this </em> was what made the thing in his chest snap. He had no clue as to why this was the thing that shook the sobs from his chest or ripped the floor from his feet and left him shaking on the ground.</p><p>All he really knew was that he was so terribly, terribly alone.</p><p>Janus was pacing. There was no one around to see it, so honestly, he couldn't really care less that he was wringing his hands together as he did it.</p><p>It had been thirty minutes since Remus had disappeared into one of the four pits in the mindscape. They were strange, horrible things — dark, murky depths of oil and black paint. Janus still hadn't scrounged up the courage to experimentally touch any of them.</p><p>Frankly, he'd been too distracted by the particularly distressing cries emitting from the pit near the window blinds.</p><p>He wasn't sure when they'd started, but it couldn't have been much longer after Remus had left. Janus doubted the two were connected. It didn't make him any less stressed.</p><p>He wasn't an idiot. He knew that. He wasn't reckless. He definitely knew that.</p><p>But god, those noises coming from the pit in Patton's spot were tugging at those ever-present instincts of self-preservation.</p><p><em> No, </em> he decided deftly. If something somehow happened to Remus — the same thing that could have already happened to the other four but no, <em> no, </em> he couldn't think about that — he was the last reliable defence for Thomas against anything that could happen to him. He couldn't allow anything to happen to Thomas, and therefore Deceit couldn't allow anything to happen to himself. He had to keep himself safe.</p><p>He stopped pacing and heaved a quiet but heavy sigh.</p><p>That felt unbelievable even to his own brain.</p><p>He turned to the ground at the blinds and dipped into the pit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Creativity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Morality has abandoned them.</p><p>Logic is broken.</p><p>Anxiety won't stop shaking.</p><p>Roman has never been so scared.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn't hard to find Patton in an otherwise empty and quiet mirror of the mindscape living room.</p><p>The moral side was sobbing uncontrollably, his heartbreaking wails echoing around the room. He was curled into a ball at the base of the window. His face was hidden from view, most likely buried against his legs. Janus' heart certainly did not clench at the sight.</p><p>"Patton?" he addressed. He didn't get much of a reply, unless the violent sob that shook his body counted. "It's De— Janus." He moved to sit down on the ground in front of Patton, feeling like the most helpful person in the world.</p><p>"I'm... There's no point in lying, right now, I suppose," Janus mused, mostly to himself, before continuing to address a seemingly inconsolable Patton. "I don't know how to comfort you, right now, Patton. I've never been particularly good at it. You can count on me to talk you down from a panic attack, but the moment your breathing is under control, I'm... admittedly, next to useless."</p><p>Janus looked down at his gloved hands, absentmindedly twisting his fingers together. "If you've ever wondered where Virgil gets his reluctance to show emotional vulnerability, you can probably blame me for it. It's probably the only thing he took with him. I'm sure it hasn't made your job any easier. Not that you would ever see it as a 'job' anyway."</p><p>He sighed, his shoulders drooping. He glanced up and gazed down at the still-crying side. "I don't know what you've seen in this... invented scenario, but I'm sure it couldn't have been pleasant. I... hope you realise nothing that was done or said here is reliable or accurate information. Whatever someone said to you here isn't real."</p><p>Maybe Patton finally heard his voice then, because — sniffing, hiccupping, gasping — Patton lifted his head. His bloodshot, watery eyes locked onto Janus.</p><p>Then he started to cry even harder.</p><p>Janus felt his eyebrows rise in bafflement. "What on earth could be so wrong?" he asked gently. "Surely I'm not so bad."</p><p>Patton was hard to understand as he responded. "I— I'm sor-sorry," he babbled. "I di-didn't mean t-to, I sw-swear, I— I didn't. I'm s-sorry th-that I'm not g-g-good en-enough! I— I d-don't— I'm—"</p><p>"Patton," Janus murmured, shocked.</p><p>"I don't d-deserve y-you," Patton wailed.</p><p>Janus scowled. He reached forward and squeezed Patton's knee. Patton hiccupped, staring up at him.</p><p>"You're right," Janus said. More tears rolled down Patton's cheeks. "You don't deserve whatever pathetic excuses of family members caused you to feel like this."</p><p>"Th-they're n-not pathetic!" Patton protested, still crying too hard to speak clearly.</p><p>"Maybe not your real family," Janus assured him. "They'd never put you in a situation like this, would they?"</p><p>Patton opened and closed his mouth, but no sounds came out.</p><p>"Your real family loves you," Janus told him. "Maybe you'll argue, but families do that, sometimes." Janus moved his other hand to Patton's, where it was limp in his lap. "They would never bring you down to this. Would they?"</p><p>Patton shook his head mutely. Janus smiled thinly. "They love you just for who you are. Thomas loves you just for who you are." He didn't offer the third reassurance that was swimming around in his head; this wasn't the time for that. Instead, he went for the simple but ridiculously effective, "You're enough."</p><p>Patton wiped his face. He sniffed and tried for a teary smile. Janus fixed him with a patient look. He whimpered, his barely-there-in-the-first-place mask slipping away.</p><p>"You don't have to be brave," Janus told him. "Not all the time." He squeezed Patton's hand. "Not for me."</p><p>"Thank you," Patton whispered, voice clear for the first time.</p><p>Janus ignored the burst of— something that bloomed in his chest. He took in a deep breath to try and expel it. (It didn't work.)</p><p>"Well," he said, pulling back. "I'm not sure about you, but I would <em> love </em> to stay in this place forever."</p><p>Patton giggled and the two stood up. He sniffed, but his breakdown seemed to have properly receded now.</p><p>"How are we going to leave?" he asked, his voice quiet. Janus hadn't thought about that. He smirked at Patton.</p><p>"With your perfect charm, of course," he said.</p><p>Heat rose to Patton's cheeks in the form of a bright red flush, looking mildly like he'd been sunburnt. It— No, <em> no, </em> it <em> wasn't </em> adorable.</p><p>A new pit — this one white — appeared behind them.</p><p>Janus took his hand and they went through it together.</p><p> </p><p>Roman wasn't a stranger to having off days, or being grumpy, or needing to pout when something just rubbed him the wrong way.</p><p>The thing Roman tried to do, though, was have a <em> reason </em> when he threw tantrums. Admittedly, he liked talking <em>(arguing, </em> some would say) with the others; they had their own opinions and theories and every once and a while Roman actually learned something from their disagreements. Sometimes, though, their ideas really were just ridiculously unfair.</p><p>That was when Roman could see where he got a little... fussy with the others.</p><p>But a petty reason was a reason, nonetheless.</p><p>And to his defense, Roman didn't know what he could have done to give Patton a reason to hate him right now.</p><p>Fine, fine, that was an exaggeration. Patton hadn't exactly outright <em> said </em> that — and besides! Who <em> didn't </em> love Roman? — and it wasn't like he was glaring or yelling or anything. Which was good. Frankly Roman wasn't sure if Patton was capable of either of those things.</p><p>"This is kind of boring," Patton murmured. Roman looked at him archly.</p><p>"Boring?" he echoed uncertainly. "Pat, we're talking about ideas for a video. Surely they're not <em>boring."</em></p><p>Patton looked over at him dully. He hummed noncommittally. It was uncomfortably far away from Patton's usual warm eyes and welcoming smile.</p><p>"I'm going to go find something else to do," Patton said. Before Roman could think of something to make him stay, he sunk out. Roman felt something twist in his stomach. What had happened? Was it Roman? Or was something wrong with Patton? Even when he was sad, he was at least still expressive — or at least emotional! Roman already knew he wasn't great at displaying comfort, but he knew it was much easier to comfort a crying person than someone who could barely reply to anything he said.</p><p>He turned to Logan, hoping the nerd would know what to do.</p><p>Logan didn't look like he knew what to do.</p><p>His eyebrows were almost touching, brought down his forehead like he had been given an impossible mathematical equation and had no idea how to solve it. His hair was uncharacteristically ruffled. Roman wondered when that had happened.</p><p>"Uh, Poindexter?" he prompted, hoping to chase the glazed look from Logan's eyes. "Any ideas about what's up with Patton?"</p><p>Logan didn't answer. Roman squinted at him and realised with a start that he was shaking, ever so slightly.</p><p>"Logan," he said, surprised. "What's the matter?"</p><p>Logan didn't respond. Thoroughly freaked out now, Roman glanced over to Virgil, silently wondering if he had any idea on what to do, because Roman certainly didn't. The anxious side was hunkered down into his hoodie. Roman couldn't see his eyes, which was frustrating.</p><p>"Virge," he hissed, "what do we do?" Virgil twitched, which was a <em> clear </em> indication that he'd heard Roman, but he didn't turn to look at him. Roman scowled. "Don't ignore me."</p><p>Virgil didn't respond to him. Roman huffed and stepped forward, trying to meet the emo's eyes. Was he too freaked out? Like Logan? Roman didn't really know what he'd do if all three of his friends were like this.</p><p>He shuffled forward and reached for Virgil's arm, aiming to just poke him for his attention.</p><p>But then Virgil's head swiveled around to him and Roman finally saw his eyes — round, wide, <em> terrified </em> orbs of horror. The look itself was almost enough to make Roman pull back, but even so he froze, shocked.</p><p>Virgil's gaze shot from Roman's face down to his outreaching hand and a shudder ran through his body. He jerked away from Roman, tucking his arm safely in beside him.</p><p>Roman would have usually assumed he was having a panic attack and attempted to calm him down, but it was when Virgil shifted closer to Logan and continued to look at Roman like he had threatened him with bodily harm did the creative side pause, feeling weirdly sick.</p><p>"What're you panicking for, Angel of Darkness?" he asked with a forced smile, tilting his head curiously. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Apart from, you know, everyone else panicking but that's fine. It's fine. We'll... work it out."</p><p>This time, almost experimentally, he reached out again, like the first time had just been a mistake, or he'd seen wrong.</p><p>But Virgil quailed away from him as if he was expecting to be hit. He curled into a small ball, like he was trying to avoid Roman's attention.</p><p>Roman felt faint lightheaded. He wondered why his heart was thudding almost painfully against his ribs. He kind of wished there was a chair somewhere around him to sit down on. The stairs were there, but they certainly weren't an option since Virgil was—</p><p>He was scared of him. He wasn't panicking at everything in general, it was <em> Roman. </em> Why was it Roman? What had he done?</p><p>That wasn't the right question to ask, was it? He'd done a lot.</p><p>But he'd never have raised a hand — to <em> any </em> of the other sides, let alone his friends! He'd sooner give up his sword than injure any of them. Right? Wouldn't he? Wasn't that obvious? Why didn't the others know that? They should know that!</p><p>"Virgil—" he started, reaching for a third, desperate time, for his friend. Because he was! Virgil <em> was </em> his friend. They were friends! Roman wouldn't hurt his friends! Ever!</p><p>"Don't," Virgil responded in a rasp. It sounded like he was begging. It sounded like he was <em> petrified. </em></p><p>Roman whimpered, pulling away. <em> I'm sorry. What did I do? Why are you afraid? Stop being afraid of me! I'm not scary! I'm not! I promise I'm not! </em></p><p>"I'm not exactly the worst thing you've ever come across, surely," Roman said in a weak attempt at a joke.</p><p>Virgil didn't reply. The expression Roman had been fighting to keep at a neutral, playful mask was slipping down, much like his eyebrows as he tried to suppress the hurt growing in his chest.</p><p>"Virgil," he said. Virgil flinched. Roman turned to Logan, who still looked like a malfunctioning robot. <em> "Logan," </em> he said, but the nerd didn't even react. "Stop it," Roman said, taking a step back and looking between the pair, and to the empty spot where Patton should have been but wasn't. "Stop— why— Stop acting weird! S-stop panicking! Stop being SCARED!"</p><p>That didn't help. Of course, it didn't.</p><p>
  <em> No, no, no. This isn't right. What's wrong? What's happening? WHAT DID I DO? </em>
</p><p>Roman gripped his arms. He needed his hands to stop shaking. He needed to stop shaking. Virgil and Logan needed to stop shaking! Why were they shaking? STOP SHAKING! "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"</p><p> </p><p>When Remus rose up, he didn't give a shit about what was happening around him.</p><p>He and Logan had safely risen up in the mindscape, but it had been startlingly empty. Remus had wondered where Janus had gone off to when Logan had spotted the black pit near the wall was gone — the one he'd been in. Then they'd both found that Patton's was a weird mix of black and the same blue of his shirt.</p><p>Remus had been considering going into that one, too, but then yelling had caught his attention from the pit near the television.</p><p>Logan had already moved to the couch, collapsing back onto it, and holding his head in his hands. Remus had glanced back at him, told him he was going to jump into another pit, and done exactly that. Logan hadn't even had a chance to say "What" before he'd been gone. It was always very satisfying taking the nerd off guard.</p><p>Roman looked close to begging as he stared pleadingly over at the fake Logan in his usual spot.</p><p>Remus interrupted that when he stomped over and slapped Roman across the face.</p><p>"You know, I would have liked to stay in my own living room, minding my own business and eating the spiders in the corners of the ceiling, but you always manage to ruin my fun."</p><p>Roman glared heatedly at him. Remus ignored the unshed tears glistening in his eyes.</p><p>"Leave me alone," he snarled. "I'm not afraid of you."</p><p>Remus scoffed. Was his brother really that stupid?</p><p>Yeah, he must've been, Remus decided, because at that Roman unsheathed his sword with a ring and pointed it at him.</p><p>Remus stared at him and for a moment considered holding back his laugh. He then decided against that when he found that it would've been too hard. Roman's eyes widened with fear at the reaction, which was amusing.</p><p>"You really are dramatic at the worst of times, aren't you?" Remus asked him once he'd recovered.</p><p>"ENOUGH!" Roman shouted, slashing at Remus. Remus warily pushed the sword away with a finger, not in the mood to get stabbed.</p><p>"Careful," he said. "Don't poke someone's eye out."</p><p>"I'll <em> gauge </em> BOTH your eyes out," Roman snarled. "And slit your throat! And disembowel you if you <em> don't leave me alone!" </em>Remus stared at him. He let the words sink in for the both of them in silence. "I-I—" Roman lowered his sword, looking stricken. "I mean—" Remus reached for the sword hilt. Roman snatched it from of his grasp, his eyes going wide again in panic.</p><p>"You're terrified," Remus realised faintly.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Ooo, good thinking!" Remus brightened. "Maybe Janus can help us!"</p><p>"NO," Roman shouted. He grabbed his head with his free hand.</p><p>Remus rolled his eyes. "You know you can be scared and brave at the same time, right?"</p><p>Roman shot him a narrow look. "What?" Remus scoffed.</p><p>"I mean, you all seem to think that I'm pretty fearless, with all the garbage I spew out." Roman didn't look certain. "I get scared, too," Remus admitted, and the words felt wrong and weird in his mouth, but he didn't think he'd ever said anything less true.</p><p>"Do not mock me," Roman growled.</p><p>"I'm not mocking you," said Remus. He shrugged. "Well, not right now. Thinking about it for later, though."</p><p>Roman snarled and his grip on his sword tightened. "What are you so scared of, then?" he challenged. "Huh? What's got you so afraid?" Remus met his gaze evenly. He wasn't sure what his expression was doing, but it didn't feel right on his face.</p><p>"Right now?" he murmured amongst the confused screaming of his thoughts. "I'm scared of something bad and irreversible happening. I'm scared I'm going to mess up, for real, this time, and that no one's going to be around to fix it. I'm… scared of losing people." He frowned as he said it, as if only coming to the realisation himself.</p><p>Roman's sword clattered to the ground. Remus realised his gaze had dropped to the floor. He looked up and found Roman staring at him, jaw slack and eyes wide. He looked disbelieving, not suspicious or scared. His entire body was shaking.</p><p>Half a smile tugged itself onto Remus' face. "You alright, protector?" he asked softly.</p><p>Roman hiccupped in response. He pitched forward slowly, pressing his face against Remus' shoulder. Remus stiffened and didn't hug back. After a moment, though, he gripped Roman's wrist in a tight grip and squeezed it.</p><p>"You're brave," he whispered. He swallowed. "You're like, not a <em> total </em>coward." Roman's breath whooshed out of him in a pathetic huff of a laugh.</p><p>The pit appeared behind them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Anxiety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Logic is gone.</p><p>Fantasy is dead.</p><p>Morality doesn't love him.</p><p>Virgil wants to die.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil stared at Logan. </p><p>Well, no, he was staring at Janus, but he was <em> supposed </em> to be staring at Logan. Logan, who stood in his position at the base of the stairs, behind the railing, beside the far wall from the couch.</p><p>But no. Janus was there. Not Logan.</p><p>Janus, who was talking without a care to Patton. Janus, who's sly gaze wasn't missed on Virgil for a heartbeat but flew completely over oblivious Patton's head. Janus, who wasn't so much Janus as he was Deceit, who didn't care about any of them, least of all Patton. Janus, who had Patton wrapped around his finger.</p><p>Virgil looked over at Roman, feeling his anger building up.</p><p>He stopped dead when he realised Roman wasn't in the room either. Both him and Logan, leaving Virgil alone with Janus, because it wasn't like Patton was going to be any help with—</p><p>Virgil paused, and squinted at the television. His stomach flopped like a dying fish, and he stared in horror at the blood splattered on the dark screen.</p><p>He looked over at Patton, trying to say something, but his voice wasn't working. There was a... throwing star lying, abandoned, on the ground in front of the television. Virgil wanted to throw up. He wanted to yell at Janus, or shake Patton, or drag Roman up, or yell for Logan, or something, something <em> something, he had to do something— </em></p><p>"Patton." He'd found his voice. Patton looked distractedly over at him. "Pat." Speaking felt like he'd swallowed sandpaper. He couldn't get anything else out, so he waved in the direction of Roman's empty spot.</p><p>Patton's gaze darted over to it before flicking back to Virgil. "What, kiddo?" he asked. He sounded weird. Like... he was impatient, but Patton didn't get impatient. Did he?</p><p>"Where's Logan?" Virgil asked.</p><p>"He doesn't need to be here right now," Janus answered. Virgil couldn't bite back a hiss, but it faltered.</p><p>"Roman," Virgil choked out. "T-the— There's—" He pointed at the blood stains, but the other two had already moved on with their conversation. He frowned. "Patton."</p><p>"Not now, Virge," Patton said. He didn't even look in his direction.</p><p><em> "Patton," </em> Virgil insisted, unable to say much more. "Logan— R-Roman— we— we have to <em> do—" </em></p><p>"I said not now," Patton said, sounding snappish. Virgil glared at him. This wasn't right. Patton didn't snap. He didn't get impatient. Whatever was wrong with him, he needed to snap out of it. Logan was gone! Patton had let Janus take his spot! <em> Again! </em></p><p>Virgil clenched his fists. He thought about sinking out. He thought about hiding in his room. He thought about checking Roman's room, then Remus' and then marching right out onto the grounds of the Imagination if he had to to find Roman. If Patton wasn't going to take care of them then Virgil would, because it was his job as much as anyone else's to look after them.</p><p>But what if that was what Janus wanted? What if Janus' plan was to <em> get </em> Virgil to leave, to leave Patton vulnerable, so he could finish him off?</p><p>Well, Virgil could think of two words to say to that and they'd probably get him another snap from Patton.</p><p>"Shut up," Virgil suddenly snarled at Janus before he could reply to whatever Patton had said. "What do you think you're doing here? Distracting Patton? Standing in <em> Logic's </em> spot? Get out!"</p><p>Janus raised a gloved hand to his chest in mock hurt. Virgil seethed.</p><p>Before either of them could go at each other, Patton interjected with a steeled voice and narrowed eyes. "Maybe you should go."</p><p>Virgil felt as though the world was tipping on its axis. He stared at Patton, barely able to breathe. Patton looked directly back at him.</p><p>"Perhaps that is best," Janus mused in agreement. Virgil didn't have the energy to protest. Patton was nodding in consideration.</p><p>"I don't think you really belong here," the moral side said. To Virgil. He was speaking to Virgil. Patton wanted him gone.</p><p>Virgil's world ended.</p><p> </p><p>The simulated living room was empty when Janus arrived. Logan had been back in the mindscape, but Remus hadn't been there. Before Janus could have panicked, Logan explained that Remus had left for Roman.</p><p>Patton had still been struggling to stand, so Janus had handed him off to Logan, trusting that the logical side was responsible enough to care for his shaken friend.</p><p>If you were to ask him, Janus reply that he would do what he did best: lie. But in truth, Janus hadn't been thinking when he beelined for the pit on the stairs. All he'd been focusing on was what he'd been <em> feeling, </em>which was kind of pathetic and disgusting and he would not advise it to anyone he knew.</p><p>Especially now, staring across the room to the staircase landing, where the anxious side was sitting with his arms wrapped around his legs and his legs pulled to his chest.</p><p>Virgil looked up when Janus arrived. He wasn't sobbing, but his eyes were red-rimmed, and his cheeks were flushed and damp around an otherwise pale face. His breaths were shaky.</p><p>It was somehow worse.</p><p>The pair stared at each other for a long time.</p><p>Why did he think coming here was a good idea? Oh, that's right — he didn't, because he hadn't been bothered to think through any semblance of a plan before diving headfirst into another problem that wasn't his own. What if his being here made everything worse? What if he stressed Virgil out more? What if Janus himself had been in the horrible nightmare scenario and now Virgil was going to hate him even more?</p><p>Janus stepped forward to the base of the stairs and hesitantly reached out.</p><p>All his nerves felt like they'd been electrified when Virgil met him halfway to lean into his shoulder.</p><p>Janus stood there for a probably-too-long and definitely-too-quiet time. Eventually, he moved to squeeze Virgil's shoulders in an awkward hug.</p><p>It must've been enough; Virgil moved to press further against him.</p><p>"T-they—" he started, but it seemed like he couldn't finish. He didn't need to; Janus had a few ideas about what Virgil had witnessed and experienced here, alone.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"I couldn't—"</p><p>Janus hushed him. "I know."</p><p>Virgil moved his forehead from Janus' shoulder to bury his face into his chest. "It was <em> awful."</em></p><p>It's silent.</p><p>Janus quietly kissed Virgil's temple. "I know."</p><p>Virgil didn't react, which was a relief because Janus really wasn't thinking much today, was he?</p><p>The two of them stayed there, waiting for the tremors rattling Virgil's frame to subside. Even after a small eternity, they still hadn't gone away completely; Janus could feel Virgil's hands shaking as he twisted his fingers into Janus' clothes for a better grip.</p><p>But his breathing had evened out, and it was something.</p><p>Janus gently lifted Virgil's chin up to look him in the eye. He swiped a hand across Virgil's cheek, brushing away the tear tracks.</p><p>For once, miraculously, he did think about what he was going to say next, but it didn't take much debate.</p><p>"You're loved," he said. It wasn't magical, or gentle, or comforting. Janus' own voice had trembled, and he hadn't said it with a fire in his eyes.</p><p>But he had said it, and he had meant it, and he hoped that it was reassuring in its own way.</p><p>It must have been, because he could tell from the way that some more of the darkness clouding Virgil's eyes receded, Virgil believed him.</p><p>That was probably why the pool of white, identical to the one in Patton's nightmare, had shown up beside them.</p><p>Without much resistance, Janus lead Virgil to the pool.</p><p>They rose up easily into the real mindscape.</p><p>The others were waiting, sitting on the couch. They all looked a little drained, apart from Remus, who was the only one standing, bouncing on his toes. His face split into a grin when he spotted Janus, and then his eyebrows arched when he spotted Virgil tucked into his side.</p><p>Virgil didn't seem to notice as he pulled himself from Janus. Remus ignored him as he moved to the other sides on the couch and opted to shoot a questioning look at Janus. Janus didn't reply, unsure about how to.</p><p>He tried not to feel awkward as the light sides embraced, but it was impossible <em> not </em> to feel out of place. He watched as Virgil's still-slightly shaking form was sheltered between the other three. Patton looked like he'd recovered since being out here. That was good.</p><p>Finally, the group pulled back, disentangling themselves from each other. Then Virgil was moving towards Janus and Remus and Janus was readying to take a step back and pull up those walls and prepare for a snarl or hiss or glare.</p><p>He wasn't a fan of Virgil continuing to shock him with affection today, because the look he fixed the two of them with was definitely soft and decidedly gentle and Janus was not liking it.</p><p>Janus shook his head imperceptibly at him, but Virgil only frowned.</p><p>Perhaps it was only to purely spite Janus when Virgil drew himself up and said, quite plainly, "Thank you."</p><p>Behind him, the light sides exchanged startled glances.</p><p>Janus quickly found that he couldn't answer past the lump in his throat.</p><p>Remus, however, seemed to have no issues responding. "Not a problem, you edgy bitch!" He grinned and bounced happily.</p><p>Virgil glared at him. So did Janus. So did Roman. And Logan. Patton chose to ignore the intrusive Creativity's vulgar nature and sidled forward with a small smile.</p><p>"Seriously, you two," he said warmly. "Thank you."</p><p>"It seems you have aided us," Logan added, looking only a little uncomfortable. He glanced over at Virgil curiously. "In more ways than one."</p><p>Janus didn't really know how to react to that. "It... was the right thing to do."</p><p>"And it was fun!" Remus chirped.</p><p>"Yeah, you'd think so," Roman grumbled at the ground.</p><p>"What happened to cause this?" Patton asked. Virgil looked sharply at him, and Janus wondered if he was seeing for the first time that Patton's own eyes were bloodshot, and his voice was still thick with the aftermath of a breakdown. "The... pool portals, and the— the fake us-es, and..."</p><p>"I believe it's something to do with Thomas," Logan theorised, adjusting his tie. "It'd be optimal to go check on him, at some point. Possibly to do with his novel-writing and imagination getting the best of him." Roman looked a little pale at that.</p><p>"See? I knew you'd be able to work it out," Remus said with a grin. Logan graced him with a stiff nod and a small smile. Janus wondered if his own eyebrows were doing what Remus' had been when he'd seen Janus and Virgil rise up. Virgil's certainly were; he was glancing between the two, squinting. Roman cut off Virgil's obviously painful analysing by slinging an arm over his shoulder and grinning. Janus wasn't convinced at the obviously fake attempt at nonchalant, but he didn't have the heart to discourage the four of them.</p><p>Bleh, he was going soft.</p><p>He was shaken from his thoughts when he was dragged — literally; by the arm — to the couch, the others announcing it was a movie night.</p><p>He didn't really have the heart to protest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Denouement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Recovery.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil woke up screaming.</p><p>He'd done that quite a few times, now. Admittedly, with less screaming on previous occasions.</p><p>He'd fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of the third movie and had woken up with a jolt. There hadn't been a nightmare, or a terrifying thought that had shaken him awake, or barely even the jumpstart of his heart making sure his body wasn't shutting down too quickly.</p><p>He'd just... woken up, heart pounding, breathing slightly erratic.</p><p>Logan had noticed and suggested he retire to sleep. Virgil had listened without complaint, ignoring the hint of disappointment at finding Janus and Remus already gone, and the creeping fear of being separated from his friends after the horror he'd been forced to face.</p><p>Throughout the night, lying fitfully in his own bed, alone and away from his family, he'd been waking up almost every hour now, each time having closed his eyes being back at that fake living room, facing down Janus' triumphant smile and Patton's disappointed frown and those horribly absent faces that should have been right next to him but weren't.</p><p>Each time, the nightmare had been different. And each time, he'd woken up, trembling and pale. This one had been bad, though. Really bad.</p><p>Virgil closed his eyes, as if he could squeeze the images from his head.</p><p>To his surprise, he didn't have a chance to calm down by himself, like he'd been forcing himself to do all night.</p><p>There was a quick, quiet knock at the door and Virgil barely thought of a response before Patton peeked in, his round eyes glinting worriedly in the darkness.</p><p>After silent permission from Virgil in the form of shaky nod, Patton hurried into the room. He sat stiffly on the edge of Virgil's bed and fidgeted with his hands, obviously not knowing what to do with them. Virgil couldn't really help him; he hadn't moved, and he wasn't sure how he felt about being touched right now.</p><p>"You can relax, Pat," Virgil said finally, his voice wavering, when neither of them offered their thoughts. Patton glanced down at him and gave him a small smile. He eased himself down and lay down next to Virgil, albeit a little awkwardly.</p><p>Virgil thought about saying something, maybe about Patton getting comfortable, because the moral side was still awfully tense.</p><p>"Knock, knock," a quiet voice said.</p><p>Virgil looked over to see Roman standing uncharacteristically sheepishly in the open doorway.</p><p>"Come in and stop standing there like a lost dog," Virgil tried to snipe, but it was weak. He had a feeling all three of them knew, but he felt grateful when no one commented.</p><p>Roman moved to the bed, taking up Patton's previous position, given in a much more relaxed way, leaning back against the wall.</p><p>"Logan's gone to get you water," Patton said as Virgil pushed into him. "He'll be up in a second." Virgil didn't reply — hardly even met Patton's gaze, which he knew was fixed on the top of his head — but he nodded.</p><p>Roman shot him a surprised look when Virgil found his hand, which had been resting on the bed beside them. He didn't say anything, only opting to squeeze Virgil's hand in response. It helped to still the tremors.</p><p>Logan arrived with a glass of water and a wet cloth, sliding quietly into the room, and moving over to the bed.</p><p>Virgil sat up and wrinkled his nose. "I don't need the cloth."</p><p>Logan gave him a skeptical look. Virgil frowned back. Logan sighed and instead just handed him the glass. He moved to steady Virgil's single shaking hand as he tried to drink; he hadn't let go of Roman.</p><p>After downing the entire glass, Virgil pushed it away, and Logan placed it on the bedside table before sitting on the edge of the bed. It was unnervingly quiet between the four of them, and Virgil could tell they were disquieted. He didn't have the energy to snap at them to stop looking at him weird, or to insist that he was fine, and they should go back to their own rooms now.</p><p>"Sorry," Virgil murmured after a few minutes of silence, unable to think of much else.</p><p>"Don't apologise, kiddo!" Patton chirped, sitting up. He beamed at him. "We all went through some..."</p><p>"Stuff," Roman offered helpfully.</p><p>Patton shrugged in agreement, having no better substitute. "So, you're not alone."</p><p>"We're here for you," Logan assured Virgil.</p><p>"We <em> love </em> you," Patton said, clasping a disgruntled Logan's hands in his.</p><p>"Always," Roman added, grinning brightly, and Virgil couldn't help the sudden stream of tears that rolled down his cheeks. He pitched forward and Patton met him halfway, cupping his face in his warm hands and pressing a kiss to his forehead.</p><p>That just made Virgil cry <em> harder. </em></p><p>"You didn't!" he wailed, breaking. The stress and exhaustion and pain that had been building up, up, up throughout the day and entire night broke through in a tsunami of sobs and tears and senseless babbling. "You didn't love me! You wanted me gone. You wanted me <em> gone!" </em></p><p>"No," Patton murmured, pressing their foreheads together. <em> "No,</em> sweetheart. We would never."</p><p>"They were just silly nightmares, Virge," Roman told him softly.</p><p>With another agonised cry, Virgil pulled back and slammed himself into the prince.</p><p>He couldn't speak past his tears as he pressed fervently against the creative side, almost trying to bury himself completely. Roman only hugged him tightly, tilting them back onto the bed.</p><p>The three of them let Virgil cry in silence. He cried for a painfully, insufferably long amount of time and he couldn't stop, no matter how much his brain told him to, no matter how much his thoughts scolded him to hold it in and not burden them and push them <em> away, </em> he couldn't be vulnerable, he couldn't be so damn broken in front of them.</p><p>But he could. He could, because they were his family, and they loved him, and they were here and hadn't left and would never leave.</p><p>They didn't say anything, or ask questions, which, amongst the burning, ripping agony in Virgil's chest, he was grateful for. He wondered how many times during the night he would feel grateful for them.</p><p>Virgil didn't know how long it took for him to calm down, but it felt like a lifetime before he finally registered the strong hands rubbing his back and the gentle voice in his ear and the chest his cheek was pressed to.</p><p>He sniffed.</p><p>A third hand squeezed his shoulder. "Feeling any better, kiddo?" Patton's quiet voice asked.</p><p>"Not sure," Virgil muttered.</p><p>"Take your time," Logan suggested.</p><p>Virgil sniffed again and pulled Patton and Logan into the hug, letting them curl up into the cuddle pile.</p><p>"All here?" he whispered after a moment.</p><p>"All here, Stormcloud," Roman rumbled gently. "Not going anywhere." Virgil bit down onto his lip to prevent the new wave of emotions. He felt Roman hook his chin over Virgil's head. "We're here," he said again.</p><p>Patton snuggled up to the two of them, resting his head on Roman's shoulder besides Virgil's face. He beamed at the anxious trait, who smiled weakly back. Logan awkwardly leaned back against Virgil and Roman, resting his head on the wall. He held one of Virgil's hands, a rare gesture of physical affection and reassurance.</p><p>Though, Virgil quickly found that he still couldn't sleep. The moving chest beneath him and the quiet breaths by his ear and even the hand gripped in his didn't seem to be enough to distract him from the horrors of his own thoughts.</p><p>"You still awake, Stormy?"</p><p>Virgil blinked and shifted, moving his head to look up at Roman. The prince was looking at him through the dark.</p><p>"Yeah," he whispered. Roman didn't reply. He nodded absentmindedly, his grip on Virgil tightening. "What's up?" Virgil asked in a whisper.</p><p>Roman swallowed. "It's nothing."</p><p>"Bull." Roman looked down at him archly. Virgil rolled his eyes. "I've had one hell of a day and an even worse night, Princey," he said. "I'm not in the mood to have my questions avoided."</p><p>Roman sighed. "I know," he mumbled. "It's just... Logan said that the whole... I don't know — <em> fear simulation </em> was... me."</p><p>Virgil blinked and raised his head, looking sharply down at Roman through the dark.</p><p>"He did?" he asked. "When?"</p><p>"Yesterday," Roman explained weakly, and Virgil wondered how late it really was. "When we'd first gotten back. He mentioned... he said it happened because of Thomas' Imagination."</p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>"Well, maybe it wasn't you," Virgil said, settling back down. "Maybe it was Remus."</p><p>"That... doesn't make me feel much better, Virge," Roman admitted. Virgil pressed his nose to the prince's sash, for a moment just letting himself realise that he was safe and surrounded by his family.</p><p>"It could've just been something to do with the Imagination itself," he offered, thinking. "I mean, you don't control every single thing that happens there. You just influence it a lot. Sometimes humans think things that are completely random and weird and not quite intrusive and... I don't know."</p><p>"No," Roman said, making Virgil look at him. He looked thoughtful. "That kind of makes sense. It helps." He smiled, and it was smaller than his usual dazzling grin, and it was real. "Thank you." Virgil shrugged and yawned. Roman chuckled and somehow pulled the two even closer. "Get some rest," he whispered.</p><p>Virgil nodded sleepily. He sunk against the prince, exhaustion taking over his senses.</p><p>"Love you," he mumbled.</p><p>Roman didn't tense underneath him, but his breath might have stuttered. Beside him, Patton shifted and mumbled something agreeable. Logan didn't respond, but he might've squeezed Virgil's hand a little tighter.</p><p>"Yeah," Roman said eventually. "I love you, too."</p><p>Virgil fell asleep with his family curled around him. He didn't wake up until the next morning.</p>
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